Translating a World on the Edge

I love Netflix! Last night I watched “Death of a Salesman,” a classic, Pulitzer-winning play by Arthur Miller that I studied in college and never quite forgot.

The movie was beautifully acted by Dustin Hoffman as Willie Lohman, the salesman. Here is a man in his sixties who’s never quite made it because he’s had the wrong dream, trying to be a successful businessman when he was actually not equipped for it.

Unable to accept that he’s failed, Willie unloads his same dream onto his two sons, especially Biff, who Willie imagines will rise to greatness because of his looks, athletic ability, and the fact that “he was well-liked.”

The play, movie, is a tragedy, mostly I think, in Willie’s role as a father. That he loves his sons is made apparent, but the kind of love he shows them is ruinous. He has a dream for them–his dream, not theirs. And he’s a man who cannot accept the reality that he is a failure in the job chose to build his life around, so he lies to make himself seem successful. He lies to his sons, and even to himself.

The greatest love we can give our children is Truth–to show them who they are–valuable human beings created by God. But we should never sugar-coat their mistakes. And often, we do that, maybe because their mistakes are similar to ours and we don’t want to personally own up either.

It’s important that we don’t selfishly implant in children our own dreams and expect them to play them out with any success. We have to realize each child’s uniqueness. But most of all we have to realize where we ourselves have failed in our lives so far, and make an attempt to keep our children from doing the same–by being truthful, not dishonest.

Getting to know our children and their personalities is so important. We cannot guide them properly if we look through the rose-colored glasses of what WE want them to be. Always, we need to see them as individuals, children who came through us—but are NOT US.

Parents and children—and I think especially Fathers and sons—no matter how deeply they love each other, often have many regrets. But there will always be a certain bond there.

So, may Fathers and Sons respect each other for who they are, and may each forgive the other for being a fallible human being.

In the pre-dawn hours of the graveyard shift, the ICU at the Houston Heart Institute is quiet, and quietly patients are dying. Surgery resident Joe Morales dreams of becoming a rich heart doctor. First, he must survive his assignment to an ICU rife with land mines–unexplained patient deaths, rival faculty, fellow resident saboteurs, a cost-slashing administrator, a ruthless insurance executive, a seductive head nurse, a jealous wife, a critically ill son, an overprotective mother, and an orderly distraught over his daughter’s death. To salvage the career he thought he wanted, Joe must determine the cause of the suspicious deaths. In the process, he’s forced to re-examine the ethnic and religious heritage that he had rejected.

That a healthy human heart is essential to life is surely an understatement. When our hearts are not working properly, we are in danger.

V-tach is one problem to look out for, and definitely one to repair. Ventricular tachycardia (V-tach or VT) is a type of tachycardia, or a rapid heart beat, that starts in the bottom chambers of the heart, called the ventricles, the main pumping chambers of the heart. V-tach can be a fatal rhythm because it may lead to ventricular fibrillation, and sudden death.

But we speak of our hearts in other ways besides our physical health. We also speak of our hearts in a spiritual way that has to do with love. ..love for oneself, and love for others. Whether diseased physically or spiritually, our hearts sometimes need repair. Fatal Rhythm, Ron O’Gorman’s new novel repairs the hearts of its characters in both ways.

If you like a roller-coaster novel with a genuine hero you can pull for, then Fatal Rhythm is the book to read. The well thought-out twists and turns sit right alongside the quiet, sweet, tug-at-the-heart moments until the last page is turned. In fact, the novel was chosen “Best of 2014” by Suspense Magazine.

You will want to read it! Click on the cover to order the book.

R. B. O’Gorman obtained a PhD in Biochemistry from Rice University and studied cardiovascular surgery under Dr. Michael E DeBakey. FATAL RHYTHM is a medical suspense/mystery based on his training experience with Micahel E. DeBakey, called the “greatest surgeon ever.”

Have you experienced a “dark night of the soul?” Deep depression, a spiritual crisis, the collapse of meaning and purpose in your life, the loss of something, or someone, who meant everything to you?

I have experienced something like that. And I can tell you that it is temporary. You will come out of it. And you may be a better person because of it. You may even be a totally different person than you thought you were.

So, hang on.

Trust in God.

Even if you feel completely alone. Even if you think no person and no thing can help you. Even if you’ve tried everything, but there’s nowhere to go, no one to turn to, and you feel helpless. And even if you think you’re defeated—hang on.

And in the luck of night
In secret places where no other spied
I went without my sight
Without a light to guide
Except the heart that lit me from inside.

It guided me and shone
Surer than noonday sunlight over me,
And lead me to the one
Whom only I could see
Deep in a place where only we could be.
………..two stanzas from Dark Night of the Soul, by Saint John of the Cross

No one can actually see your dark night. You can create an appearance that all is well, while inside your heart is breaking. At times, I even thought if I had a fatal disease, it would be better than what I was going through–at least it would be apparent to someone. But what I didn’t realize is that I wasn’t alone. Even if I couldn’t see where I was going myself, someone was seeing me along the way. I trusted I would be lead. And I was.

Dark nights are temporary. I can’t stress that enough. On any day— within a minute, or second— what was so dark can take on light again.

You are loved. Don’t give up. Surrender to divine guidance. And Trust.

Wrath, also known as “rage,” is one of The Seven Deadly Sins. It may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. Of course, we all get angry, but anger–when it is acted out–can lead to serious consequences

Feelings of anger can manifest in different ways, including revenge.

People cheat, lie, steal, and kill out of revenge.

Sometimes we take revenge on someone we say we love. We see many disturbing news stories about one jealous family member killing another he is supposed to love. Revenge is the instigator.

But–out of revenge– we can also destroy a person with gossip–nasty words to kill his or her reputation. And that, too, is serious stuff.

How and why does this happen?

True love never breeds Revenge. It breeds forgiveness. Getting revenge, holding a grudge and refusing to forgive are all born of anger. These seemingly little acts of anger grow up to be big acts of anger which have the potential to hurt many, including us.

An obsession with vengeance is about finding an object on which to pin all our anger and fear and rage. Revenge is the inability to understand that we can’t punish the natural world, and that Nature isn’t specifically malicious, just impersonally brutal at times.

Revenge can eat away at us until it becomes something separate from our own personality. We don’t think clearly, speak rationally or feel compassionately. We are not ourselves. In fact, we are destroying ourselves.

We may not have control over the things other people do which anger us, but we do have control over what we do when we feel angry.

When our “anger button” is pressed, our immediate reaction may be to strike out and “get back” at the person who hurt or offended us. A big challenge will be to take time out to cool down before we take any action. This step demands much self-discipline, self-control, prayer, and a strong desire to become a wholesome person.

When I’ve been so angry that I’m on the verge of revenge, I remember this old adage.

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” — Confucius

Life is never without its problems. Things happen.
The beauty of the human spirit is that we are able to live through them. We are able to carry on.

How do we do this?

How do parents who’ve lost a child carry on? Or the person who’s lost a job, a livelihood his family depends upon? How do we get through injustice, lying stealing, cheating, killing?

Our world is full of these things–yet most of us carry on.

We carry on because we have Hope. Despite all of the above, and more, we believe there is goodness in the world, too. Goodness in our lives.

Oddly, the things that happen to us, often bring out our goodness, more than they bring out our hatred, or vengeance, or lack of forgiveness.

This is what Hope accomplishes–a conquering of self-pity. It stirs courage within us to go on with our lives and make the best we can out of them.

And where does it come from? We are born with it. We are created in its image. We will be guided from within, if only we let ourselves be.

So whenever the holes in our lives appear, remember the Hope we have inside to fill them. Stir that hope, and keep stirring it, through prayer, through positive people, through continuing to love others. Stir it until courage comes, to begin again.

On Saturday, January 10 at 1:30 pm, I’ll be speaking at the sixteenth annual Saint Louis Marian Conference. The conference this year, which runs from January 9 – 11, is entitled after my first novel, A Hunger in the Heart. I’m humbled to be included among celebrated speakers such as: Dale Ahlquist; Bishop Robert Hermann; Father James Kubicki, SJ; Kevin O’Brien; Father Mitch Pacwa, SJ; Deacon Jack Sullivan; Father Tom Sullivan, CPM; Father Charles Becker; and Msgr. John J. Hickel.

My talk is: God Loves You Madly, So let Him! Here’s an excerpt:

“We’ve heard many times that God is Love. And we know that’s true. But it doesn’t mean God is a big, immobile valentine. God is not stationary—because Love is not stationary. God is active. He actively seeks us, each and every one of us. He is truly hungering for our love. And because we are made like Him, we are hungering for His love.

Often we don’t realize that God is who we are looking for. We reach for situations and things that we mistake for love. But the Truth is: we have never quite departed from the newborn baby we once were, lying in our cradles, craving to be held and touched, reaching up for our parent. In other words, from the moment of our birth, we are reaching for love. This is the way God planned it. He planned for us to love Him, to seek him—because he IS madly in love with us, and He wants us to be madly in love with Him.”

Two of the videos I’ll be using are created by Dan Severs–and they are beautiful and evocative. One of them follows.

If you’re in Saint Louis, I invite you to come to this beautiful conference begun years ago by a woman of great faith.