Translating a World on the Edge

When my third child–now the mother of three sons–was a third-grader at Epiphany Catholic School, the class put on a program in which they sang the song, “God is so good, He’s so good to me.” To watch her singing these lyrics,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jejWZM9Sh8k, brought tears to my eyes, and also brought a catch of confusion in my heart about the goodness of God.

At five years old, my daughter had been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor which had been partially removed after two surgeries. Three years later, hearing her sing, I prayed even harder that the tumor would not return, though we had been told of that possibility and checked it twice a year through brain scans. However, two years later it did return and we were told there would be yet another surgery. During the surgery I thought of that song and held the memory of her singing, God answers prayers, hoping God’s answer was the same as mine, yet not sure it would be. Oh it was hard! Believe me, I had moments of doubt that God was so good and even disbelief that He answers prayers.

Except–the surgery was successful, enough for the doctor to say that he believed he got it all this time, but she would still need the yearly scans to be sure. Eight years later, my daughter received her last scan. At that time, we were told that there was no sign of the tumor and that she was cured. The answer we had prayed for came in God’s time, not ours.

When awful things happen to us, or to those we love, we want an instant fix. We don’t want the suffering that continuance of our problem will give us. We don’t want to wait for God’s answer to our prayers, fearing that His answer will not be OUR answer. But we don’t know–and cannot know–the infinite mind of God who sees our problem from beginning to end. Throughout the thirteen years of waiting for a final answer, our family drew closer. Often centering around my third child, we functioned as one unit. Many of you, have seen the same in your own family when life and death problems have arisen.

By now–as we all will–I have experienced years of living through some pretty awful things. But today, if I were to describe my relationship with God in only one word, that word would be Faithful.  Faithful To The End.